Friday, July 27, 2012

The Glass Castle, Conclusion

FM:  I think any of us who are no longer living with their parents can relate to the sense of Escape that we felt when we left them.  My relationship with my own parents was as comfortable as any I’ve ever seen, and yet the sense of Escape was very strong.  Jeannette Walls’ sense of Escape from her home life was practically an escape from Hell, and as we read about it we feel along with her what she was gaining when she left.  For a 17-year-old girl to just move to New York City with no prospects of any kind except that her 19-year-old sister was already there would seem like a risky proposition to most of us.  

CJ:  From a teacher’s standpoint I really like the story and how the children turned their lives around. So often we hear the statistics of breaking the cycle of poverty that I think sometimes we all buy into the lie. This story just goes to show it can be done with determination & encouragement from those of us who live outside that life. 

FM: And yet, we have to shake our heads when we find that her parents have followed her and her siblings to New York.  Escaping her past turned out to be not so easy, after all.  Sure enough, they try to mooch off their children at first, and then when they are turned out, they adapt like chameleons to the standard NYC homeless stereotypes that we all imagine when we hear the phrase “street bums.”  When Jeannette offers her opinions of the Homeless in her Political Science class, the professor rather irately asks her what she could possibly know about them.  “You have a point,” she says, not wanting to admit anything.  What a powerful moment. 

CJ:  The story also drives home the fact that you can't change someone who doesn't want to change. Dad's new clothes & Mom's valuable land are perfect examples of such a situation. They are content with their place in life and have no desire to change, even for their children's sake. 

FM: A real insight into the mindset of homeless people emerges when she buys her father some warm clothes for Christmas.  Offended, he walks away without a word.  Not long after that, he gives her almost a thousand dollars in cash that he won playing poker with other down-and-outs so she can complete her college degree.  And then, the stunner: her mother, almost by accident, discloses that during all those years of poverty they’ve suffered, she was refusing to part with a parcel of land – for purely sentimental reasons  – worth around a million dollars.  Watching her father’s health fail him in stages is painful for her, but the inevitability of his miserable demise seems to prepare her for it.  Watching him start to do well for himself, apart from his wife, with a job he was successful at and real sobriety for a change – and then to be dragged  back into the old habits by the wife again, losing everything, must have been more painful still.  It’s heartwarming, though, to see the now grown children start to do well for themselves (with the tragic exception of the youngest daughter), and to wrap up the book with the awkward, yet loving Thanksgiving Dinner, and with the final message that, despite all the set backs, there is always hope for a better future.

CJ:  Nice read & reminder of the reality of psychology in our prosperous country. Thanks for recommending it SC.


August's book: "In Cold Blood," by Truman Capote!

Friday, July 20, 2012

The Glass Castle, pages 145-217 (75% on Kindle)

CJ:  I hate to sound like a naysayer, but this book, though gripping, almost has me questioning if any of the stories were embellished. The author seems to have incredibly vivid memories from very early ages.

FM:  The descriptions of the shack they lived in during this period do seem just on the edge of unreal to those of us who never had to experience these kinds of hardships.  Having to pull a tarp over yourself to stay dry in your own bed when it rains and the roof leaks.  Doing battle with a large rat over your sugar bowl.  Carving the maggoty parts off your dinner ham to get to the edible parts.  Melting the icicles from your kitchen ceiling to get drinking water.  Yet these are all told in such a matter of fact manner that they seem believable to me.  I think the author probably left out many events that she didn’t remember quite so vividly.  The ones we’re reading are those that are most indelibly stamped in her memory.

CJ:  The only thing that seems to keep me hanging on is the fact that the parents, though genius, are mentally ill. I fully expected the DHS guy to return & find that was how Jeannette escaped the life in Welch.  While typing I am reminded of a classmate who was dirty all the time, yet I don't ever remember anyone other than a few of us girls trying to help her out. Government intervention in parenting wasn't as obtrusive in the early 70's as it is today. I guess it's just hard for us in the middle class to accept that there are Americans who live in squalor, sometimes possibly by choice.

FM:  Considering the time and place, the fact that a DHS rep even appeared is remarkable.  That fact that he never came back again is typical of a government bureaucrat type!

CJ:  I am angered at the parents purposeful undermining of the kids attempts to have a better life. Garbage in the foundation hole, refusal to help with painting the house, to get water service, etc. Too much like my own mother. She didn't physically sabotage me, but always told me I would fail at whatever endeavor I embarked on. I can relate to the kids determination not to be like their parents.

FM:  One of the most heart-breaking episodes occurs when Jeannette’s father uses her as sexual bait at the pool hall to lure men into complacency so that he can con them out of their money shooting pool, even allowing one of them to take her “upstairs” where she has to fend for herself.  When he compares this with his method of teaching her to swim – the “sink or swim” method – we wonder if he’s finally lost the respect of the only family member who still had any for him.  But no, we find that she manages to hang on to some shred of that respect, and we wonder how much longer that can last.

Next segment: Conclusion

August's book: "In Cold Blood," by Truman Capote!

Friday, July 13, 2012

The Glass Castle, pages 73-144 (50% on Kindle)

FM: This gem of a book continues, as biographies tend to do, describing disconnected events in more or less chronological order.  For several reasons, it doesn’t become tedious here the way it sometimes can in a book like this.  Each reminiscence has its own element of fascination that keeps me drawn in, and even eager to see what the next one will reveal.  Some novels are written this way, where I find myself having to push forward to get on with it.  Not here; it’s a “page-turner,” not in the sense that the suspense builds and makes you want to find out where events are leading, but in the sense that there always seems to be something fresh and interesting around the next corner.

CJ: Well, I'm just a little perturbed at the Okie reference. 

FM: I remember noticing the Okie reference when I read it, but don't recall now exactly what it was. Was it a remark the father made, or the author?

CJ: I think the Okie reference was Mom talking about how Okies were worse off than them.

FM: That’s right; I remember that Okie reference eliciting a wry grin from me.  After reading “The Grapes of Wrath” I was somewhat desensitized at the word.  But I know a lot of people who take it pretty seriously!

CJ: Otherwise, this saga is captivating. As an educator it helps me get inside the life of kids that I know are sitting in my classroom. I've done some study on the psychology of poverty & why people tend to stay there for generations and this book reaffirms everything I've learned.

FM: Your point about getting a glimpse inside the life of disadvantaged kids struck a chord with me as well.  When the oldest sister is discovered to need glasses, I was taken back to when I got my first pair.  Lori steps outside and looks at a tree across the street and tells the Jeanette that she can actually see the individual leaves on the tree.  When Jeannette tells her that she could always see them, it takes a minute to sink in.  Then she burst into tears.  Who isn’t moved by that? 

CJ: The family was given an economic opportunity when grandma died, but within a short period of time all the wealth was gone to meet the immediate wants of the parents. This is just a reinforcement of the stories we hear about lottery winners who end up in worse shape after they won than when they started. I enjoy the in depth character development of Mom & Dad, it helps me to understand the thinking, or lack thereof, of people who can't seem to escape poverty.

FM: Yes, I’ve heard poverty described as a “personality disorder.”  It’s definitely a matter of habits. The descriptions of the father’s ordeal with alcoholism are especially wrenching.  When he promises his 10-year-old daughter that he’ll give it up as her birthday gift, the reader can’t help but rejoice with the daughter, while having grave doubts about whether he can pull it off.  And after he has gone through a lengthy personal hell to get there, and makes a valiant effort to stay there, only to be dragged back down after the set-back of having to cancel the family camping trip, we sympathize, especially those of us who have had to conquer demon habits of our own.

CJ: The gypsy lifestyle of the family does have a certain appeal. They are not bound by financial obligation and have freedoms that I can only imagine. The intrigue of that vagabond lifestyle tends to sugar coat the reality of the daily situations the children have to endure.


Next segment: Pages 145-217 (75% on Kindle)

Saturday, July 7, 2012

The Glass Castle, pages 1-72 (25% on Kindle)

SKC:  I'm reading this now and am struck by the tone of near indifference ....very interesting read thus far...

FM:  I think SKC goes right to the heart of why this book works so well.  The author’s calm, understated descriptions of her parents pack a lot more power than any sensationalism ever could.  She tells us what happened and lets us judge for ourselves.  The humor, also, is as understated as it is unexpected – even easy to overlook.  The mishap of the piano being tied to the car and then dragged all the way through the house and beyond is only funny after the morbid fascination with the event has subsided.  Again, it is the low-key, almost deadpan delivery that is so brilliantly and consistently employed throughout this part of the book that draws us in and lets us forget ourselves. 

CJ:  I liked the intrigue with the introduction of Mom. It had me guessing for a bit if Mom was the speaker’s mom or just someone everyone called Mom. Character development is well done as well. At this point I can almost put a face on Mom & Dad and see the ragged, but educated children.

FM:  The mother is indeed a puzzle.  The father is an interesting psychological study as well.  If you haven’t seen the movie, The Mosquito Coast, do so, and compare the roll played by Harrison Ford with the father portrayed in this book, and you may notice some interesting parallels.  I had a different famous actor in mind here (had put a face on him, as CJ puts it!) almost from the beginning for him; the mother, much later.

CJ:  I tend to forget the ages of the children until we are reminded. This book gives a whole new perspective to what we expect of our children. As Americans we have upped the age of adolescence into the 30's, when in fact young people are capable of much more responsibility. This book takes us to the other extreme and makes us look at ourselves as parents.

Next segment: Pages 73-144.